black and white memories.
Sunday, June 04, 2006
hmmm...
Lingering feelings, regrets, unrequitted love, doubts, pain.... things that weighs a person down, things that make a person afraid of drowning in his or her own thoughts... Things which brings abt sadness, pain and helplessness not only to him or herself but to the ppl ard them as well...
How long muz one hold on to regretfulness before they can pay for the mistakes that they made?
How long muz one hold on to the feeling of loving someone knowing that there may never be a day whereby their love is returned?
How long muz long cast doubt upon oneself or others... not knowing what to believe or who to trust...
How long muz one carry on the scars from the past and forever hiding it from others around them... afraid to let other ppl see it... afraid of making the same mistake and inflict another scar upon themselves... hiding in a small world of their own, safe from those who might hurt them, yet distanting themselves from those who might actually help heal their scars, lighten their burden and move on with them... how long will this little world of theirs last before it completely segregate itself from others, crumble upon it's own stress and take the person inside along with it?
All these boils down to not being able to let go... Of course it's always easier said than done..
"Juz let it go...." easy words to say, yet so hard to do.. But no matter wat advice love ones and friends can give, whether to heed them or not is entirely up to one's self... The best thing that they can do is perhaps shows u that u still have ppl who care for u in this world... so that even if ur own world crushes down there will be someone out there to take care of u...
It's hard to control how a person feels... Certain times u juz can't help it if u have a certain feeling... feeling of joy.. sadness... yet it's up to u to control wat u wants to do...
Waiting for someone to accept ur love though knowing that it might not happen is gg to bring sadness and disappointment... but since u chose to wait, then be prepare to pay the price. No one will stop u from waiting or hold u at gunpoint if u decided to let it go.. But pls do consider: will it be worth it even if in the end nthing gd comes out of it? Are u really gg to hang on to this feeling and drown urself in it? If u make the decision to let it go, endure with the pain and let time heal ur wounds... if u decide to continue waiting, all the best to u, but dun indulge urself in sadness and self pity... it'll only make ur wait seems longer and more painful. Dun regret the decision u've made for it is u who have chosen this path... so when the time comes to accept the consequences, take it. Same thing goes for every other decision being made. Once done things cannot be undone, the arrow of time flows in one direction and only one. No use feeling regret for something which can never be undone.
doubts... something that everyone feels every now and then.. but when it comes to having doubts on someone close to u, having doubts abt whther to trust him/her, it gets troublesome..
But i guess when it come to trust, there's really not much help the ppl ard u can give... someone can help u to trust a certain person... the decision lies entirely with u. No matter wat sort of oath or promise that he/she give, it all boils down to wehther u trust that he/she is not making empty promises... But whatever promise u made... whether u promise to trust him/her, make the decision and dun look back... If u decide to trust him/her, trust him/her with all ur heart and cast all the doubts away.. otherwise this trust is only superficial and won't hold for long... if u dun trust him/her... then end the relationship and move on. And if there come a time whereby ur trust is betrayed... then there's no point hanging on to the relationship anymore... no doubt u'll feel hurt.. but at least u can tell urself that u have put in ur effort in maintaining this relationship..
oh well, juz some thoughts =) things are more or less qt smoothsailing for me.. though i can't say the same for some of my friends ard me.... Got sunburned because of the fatigue part work at changi naval base on wed and thurs... seriously wonder how my friends survive being an RP there... and had a slight fever on friday nite which rcovered after a 3 hr nap... haha and managed to wake up in time to watch tv =P hmm... been qt a while since i played bball... still haven't totally rec from my strained knee... but if nthing goes wrong i shd be able to play in a wk or 2... hopefully =)
