black and white memories.
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
sian.
Sunday, June 25, 2006
Met up with wb and jh for lunch at lot 1, after which js joined us as well to rent some dvd back to wb's hse to watch. Had some good laughs watching "The Maid" ya it's suppose to be a scary movie but some how we managed to turn all the scary scene into a joke lol hahaha luckily we are not watching in a cinema otherwise we would have laugh our heads off. Then foolowed by another jap sci-fi movie which I forgot it's name liao... a very long and torturous 3 hr, which most of the time dun even know wat the story is talking abt, plus it's freaking draggy. The movie only link everything up in the last ten minutes... so basically had to endure 2 hr and 50 mins of overwhelming-but-not-outstanding computer graphics and confusing fight scenes... >.< then went to have dinner at lot one again..
Didn't join my sec sch gang for k-ge since they went all the way to marina while i'm at cck that area.. too rush liao.. Anyway qt enjoyed the movie watching =) gd chillout time hanging with the usual gang since i hav MIA for qt sometime le... ^_^ Now looking forward to the bbq on the 8th of july =D
After more than one and a half month my muscle strain haven't recover... or rather cos i keep straining it again and again...
did that once more yesterday though not as serious this time... Oh well.... basically juz push it too far cos I'm sick of it... really sick of it... getting increasing fustrated cos it's juz taking too freaking long..
too bad... I dashed the hope of recovering b4 july.. dashed in my own hands...
Guess I'm juz asking for it. hai~... sian~..
Saturday, June 24, 2006
Came across a photo taken from one of the gatherings I have been to.. In the photo everyone is smiling... But i wonder exactly how many ppl were feeling happy at that time... perhaps it's juz a pose for the pic... or perhaps they were really able to forget wat's ever is bothering them in their mind during that gathering... but i guess it's impossible to know wat one is really thinking about... or even the perspective of other's towards u....Maybe certain opinions might have been left out in conversations because they treat u as a friend and so they are afraid of spoiling the friendship... but doesn't that shows how little faith was placed in the friendship between the ppl?
hmmm....
Oh well.... it's gg to be a month b4 she comes back... hai~
Sunday, June 18, 2006
Back from the chalet... as usual gg to blog abt it... but before that something else first. The gastric flu that I had last wk wasn't really an entirely bad thing after all =)
Firstly the 3 days off work provided enough time for the skin irritation on my knee tat i got from using the anti-inflammation gel too often to compeletly fade off. So no more rashes hehe ^_^
Secondly i always wanted to lose a few more kg to take the stress off my knee a little... but since i can't really jog for long period now it's qt hard for me... esp when i'm not really gd at controlling the stuff i eat... but apparently that few days where i didn't had much to eat help me shed off 2kg... yay~ =P momentary happiness... since most prob i'm gg to gain it back in a wk or two.... hope i dun though....
Thirdly i quit my coffee addiction... haven't had a cup of coffee since mon... though had the thought of drinking coffee occasionally, apparently the flu screwed up my gastric so bad that the thought of the coffee taste in my mouth somehow makes me hav second thoughts.... most prob gg to start drinking again in few days or so.... but not as much as i use to in the past bah...
And most imptly, I get to see her almost everyday this wk since she has been coming to my hse to take care of me... got to spend more time together.... esp when it's less than a wk b4 she goes canada for a month for her student exchange prog......
Still waiting for my slp-deprived friend to wake up so we can hav dinner.... think by the time i finish this long entry he won't be awake yet...
And now more abt the chalet... It starts on friday aftn and ends this morning but I only reach there on the fri nite since i hav to go back to camp in the morning. Met sk and wb for dinner at westmall first b4 I meet her at je and took mrt to bedok followed by a cab to the ecp chalet. By the time we reach there wp was already a bit drunk though he insist that he's not.. lol.. Watched soccer for a while b4 yh, lh, linda, hy and me went for nite cycling. The feeling of it is juz damn shiok ^_^ There's not much ppl ard in ecp late at nite, so I can juz go cycling at a fast spped and feel the wind blowing past my ear without worrying abt crashing into other ppl's bike.... damn shiok... haven't really had this sort of feeling since I stopped jogging at nite... Cycle all the way to the bedok jetty where there's a lot of ppl fishing and some ppl camping. Had a taste of ferrying ppl on the double bike, and me and yh tried to teach hy how to cycle.. meanwhile linda and lh went back to the chalet to get smething to eat while we continued.. After a while we moved to the cycling track near the seafood center since she said that the jetty is not a gd place to learn cycling... there we spent another hour or two trying to teach her... improvement there is but she didn't manage to get it ... at ard close to 2 am sz and lh joined us again... stayed till ard 4 am bah b4 we went back to the chalet and as usual i went to slp..
Then on the second day we went to have lunch and went into 2 of my senior from nj choir, one of them is from css choir sas well... They opened a waffle shop there... huacheng is one of the owner of the shop too... so some of us had lunch there.... then we spent much of the sftnn back at the chalet deciding wat to do and watching tv... After alex and wh joined us, we went out again.. some go for kayaking and some kite flying... Played till ard 6 plus b4 gg back to the chalet to change.. went to the hawker at ecp after ws joined us at ard 9.. Got to eat a lot of things that i haven't been eating for the past few days =) And discovered one thing too... I'll lose my sense of balance after I'm too full =S Cycled a double bike there but in the end had to cycle a single one back since i can't control the double bike..=p Almost lost control a few times too when i'm cycling back..lol
Accompanied sz back to the chalet to rest since she's not feeling well.... while the rest continued the nite cycling. Didn't go cycling too since apparently I overdid it the precvios nite/morning... hai~ the damn knee haven't recover yet... But anyway... after slping for a while i dun feel like getting up.. Got up once to take a shower when the others came back from a break... but the shower juz made me felt more like slping... hahaha... slept all the way to 8 in the morning while some went to watch the sunrise... damn missed the sunrise-watching for this chalet again. Then check-out this morning b4 taking a cab back home and slp... as usual think i'm one of the few who slept the most for this chalet again =p
Hmm... someone told me that our sec sch class chalet is a complicated thing.... I think perhaps maybe there's been qt a few intra-group luv crushes gg on in the past bah... hahaha =P But maybe there's more to it which i dun really notice... Time passes and ppl change... both physically as well as mentally... i think it's qt a miracle that the 10 plus of us are still qt close after gg through the jc and the army period... Though not everyone showed up for the gathering all the time i would say that we feel qt close together bah... In the past there are a few among us which dun really strike a conversation with a specific few cos we dun feel that close enuff to really talk abt personal stuff... but i guess that has improved among certain ppl in the group... can tell cos they can sit down and talk for hours during the long nite... Qt a few of us agreed that this group of us are gg to be lifelong friends... and some thinks that me and her are most prob wun breakup... esp since the two of us hav so many common friends that if we did the effect will more or less ripple through the whole group... hehe... I hope we won't ever break up too ^_^
But I find it a bit sad that though the bonds strengthed among some of us... some hav slowly moved away from the group bah.... I guess it can't be helped... but still find it sad nevertheless... and also... i choose to believe that things are wat they seems to be... cos I dun feel like gg into anything that might lukes beneath the seemingly calm surface... and i hope tat nthing lies below it.... But sometimes it frightnes me a little when i imagined that wat if all the bonds and friendships are nthing but false illusions? I hope i'm juz thinking too much bah... For them, i'll try to treat each of them with eaqual priority and be there if they ever need me ( of course needless to say one of them is gg to take higher priority than the rest.. hahaha bleah~ ).... No matter wat, they are friends that I'm really luvky to hav... and really want to treasure...
and finally gg to end this entry soon since my slp-deprived friend finally woke up ard 10 mins ago... b4 that for sk the hardcore clubber and bc who led him astry (=P) : dun 'swim' too much in the S'pore pools during the world cup period hor.. i dun want to see the both of u drown in it.. hahaha so wanna watch soccer on the coming wkend?
and i think i need to increase the RAM of my com liao... and also get a webcam soon... hai~ need more $$ =S
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
been on MC since yesterday cos of a gastric flu... think i vomited 8 or 9 times yeterday alone and the med that the doc give didn't work... in the end went down for an injection and extended my mc since my fever went up despite taking the med... bascially didn't really had much appetite... but can't help feeling hungry... can't eat too much ow i'll feel like vomiting again.. =S ..oh well... luckily i got someone to nurse me back to health ^_^
Friday, June 09, 2006
Damn.
Went for the run at Pasir Ris park for the AHM training. Ran 2km, walk the next 4km, then limbed the next 2km back to the start point.
One of the first few to ran off, but one of the last to return. This feeling sux. I hate to be the last.
Been a month since i played bball or did any particularly strenous excercise and it still haven't recover. Went to see the doc today... Overused of the knee... and she's not sure when it'll fully recover.. worst case scenario it'll come back everytime i exert them too much.
Need to strengthen the knee joint, need to take joint supplement.
Damn.
Sunday, June 04, 2006
hmmm...
Lingering feelings, regrets, unrequitted love, doubts, pain.... things that weighs a person down, things that make a person afraid of drowning in his or her own thoughts... Things which brings abt sadness, pain and helplessness not only to him or herself but to the ppl ard them as well...
How long muz one hold on to regretfulness before they can pay for the mistakes that they made?
How long muz one hold on to the feeling of loving someone knowing that there may never be a day whereby their love is returned?
How long muz long cast doubt upon oneself or others... not knowing what to believe or who to trust...
How long muz one carry on the scars from the past and forever hiding it from others around them... afraid to let other ppl see it... afraid of making the same mistake and inflict another scar upon themselves... hiding in a small world of their own, safe from those who might hurt them, yet distanting themselves from those who might actually help heal their scars, lighten their burden and move on with them... how long will this little world of theirs last before it completely segregate itself from others, crumble upon it's own stress and take the person inside along with it?
All these boils down to not being able to let go... Of course it's always easier said than done..
"Juz let it go...." easy words to say, yet so hard to do.. But no matter wat advice love ones and friends can give, whether to heed them or not is entirely up to one's self... The best thing that they can do is perhaps shows u that u still have ppl who care for u in this world... so that even if ur own world crushes down there will be someone out there to take care of u...
It's hard to control how a person feels... Certain times u juz can't help it if u have a certain feeling... feeling of joy.. sadness... yet it's up to u to control wat u wants to do...
Waiting for someone to accept ur love though knowing that it might not happen is gg to bring sadness and disappointment... but since u chose to wait, then be prepare to pay the price. No one will stop u from waiting or hold u at gunpoint if u decided to let it go.. But pls do consider: will it be worth it even if in the end nthing gd comes out of it? Are u really gg to hang on to this feeling and drown urself in it? If u make the decision to let it go, endure with the pain and let time heal ur wounds... if u decide to continue waiting, all the best to u, but dun indulge urself in sadness and self pity... it'll only make ur wait seems longer and more painful. Dun regret the decision u've made for it is u who have chosen this path... so when the time comes to accept the consequences, take it. Same thing goes for every other decision being made. Once done things cannot be undone, the arrow of time flows in one direction and only one. No use feeling regret for something which can never be undone.
doubts... something that everyone feels every now and then.. but when it comes to having doubts on someone close to u, having doubts abt whther to trust him/her, it gets troublesome..
But i guess when it come to trust, there's really not much help the ppl ard u can give... someone can help u to trust a certain person... the decision lies entirely with u. No matter wat sort of oath or promise that he/she give, it all boils down to wehther u trust that he/she is not making empty promises... But whatever promise u made... whether u promise to trust him/her, make the decision and dun look back... If u decide to trust him/her, trust him/her with all ur heart and cast all the doubts away.. otherwise this trust is only superficial and won't hold for long... if u dun trust him/her... then end the relationship and move on. And if there come a time whereby ur trust is betrayed... then there's no point hanging on to the relationship anymore... no doubt u'll feel hurt.. but at least u can tell urself that u have put in ur effort in maintaining this relationship..
oh well, juz some thoughts =) things are more or less qt smoothsailing for me.. though i can't say the same for some of my friends ard me.... Got sunburned because of the fatigue part work at changi naval base on wed and thurs... seriously wonder how my friends survive being an RP there... and had a slight fever on friday nite which rcovered after a 3 hr nap... haha and managed to wake up in time to watch tv =P hmm... been qt a while since i played bball... still haven't totally rec from my strained knee... but if nthing goes wrong i shd be able to play in a wk or 2... hopefully =)