i always signed that it hard to meet up with them... but now there's a chance to do so tml, and yet i'm not taking it. Not that they still can't decide wat to do or I'm too busy... in fact i dun even have anything planned for tml... but bcos i dun feel like going. dun understand why I felt this way too, but it's juz wat i'm feeling now... think I sounded too selfish when he asked me whether I can make it tml... and the ans i gave was " if i'm in the mood, then i'll definitely go... sounds self-centred?.. haha.. but I can't help it."... ... haha... wat a lousy ans.... Now I feel as though i'm destroying this friendship with my own hands... haha... maybe i have too much time to slack... too much time to think to the extend that i only think abt myself?? somehow I felt an obligation to go... and I hate this sort of feeling.
my company does have its gd side... some of the ppl there are quite nice too. Yet somehow, this sort of gd things juz doesn't stand out. come to think of it, I always ignore or overlook the gd side of it. Wat i'm seeing is juz arrows flying ard... ppl backstabbing each others and pretending to be nice infront of ppl that they dislike. Hypocrisy. Politics.... all the sort of dirt that I've learned to close one eye and try to ignore it... But it juz keep bugging me. Hai~... this is a corrupted world.
