black and white memories.
Friday, July 08, 2005
-Bad day...-
... It's one of those days that I feel like completely destroying myself. Firstly, supposed to have a 15km run, but they cancelled it. Start of a bad day. After that got attached to comms section in order to finish up checking the last few vehicles, and most of them got prob... another bad thing. After lunch, went on for a major reshuffling and shifting of vehicles all over the place, and it took us till 6pm to finish up wat we r supposed to do, when normally we r suppose to fall out on 5 pm on fri. Bad. And worst still, most of these work that we r doing is not even my section's work. It's all bcos they bloody hell always push things to the last minute and then panick. Some of their work attiutte, the way they treat ppl, pushing responsibilities ard, slacking when there's work to be done, not being considered, talking rubbish, playing a fool... all sorts of nonsense is really starting to put me off. Some ppl there is really starting to piss me off too. And to make me feel even morse, I think i'm sunking lower and lower to their level. Feel so bloody fustrated when I get home that I have to force myself to read something to dissipate my anger b4 I vent my fustration on someone else again...
No longer feel the urge to do work. The curiousity to learn new things is gone. The guilt of slacking when some ppl is still working also seems to die off. Everyday juz go there, make stupid jokes with the others, laugh it off as if we r some lunatics on the loose.... no discipline, every now and then finding ways to slack, performing disappearing acts here and there... wat the fuck. Wat kind of life am I leading.... some ppl say that ppl will become stronger and more mature after they come out from the army. But i definitely dun feel it this way. Most prob i'll juz come out of it as a piece of junk. Living each day as it comes... slowly rotting and corroding away like some unwanted trash...
But at least something gd happened todae. One of my friend didn't make it to NUS med the first time, and his appeal also got rejected. But NUS called him this aft him and told him that he got a place... took all of us by surprise... but since it's already July, it's not too sure whether he can disrupt... But I sure hope he can, cos can tell that he really wanted to get into med... and it's gd that he get out of that junkyard asap b4 that place corrodes him... ... really misses the school days where everthing seems so much simpler... The world sucks man... really sucks...
