black and white memories.
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
...first day in 3G...
shagged.... didn't bookout yesterday cos one of my friend and I was called up to do Guard Duty... Such a last minute order, juz 2 hrs b4 our normal bookout timing. Totally unprepared, no SBO, no helmet, no toothbrush... nthing, and have to borrow our 'senior's' stuff... Haven't being wearing SBO since BMTC liao... then todae's buses got so many ppl... reach home at almost eight liao... sianz... Still can't quite get use to my friends' attitude towards work... but maybe it's b'cos i'm juz too paritcular abt things... the work relationships between the people there are also not as gd as those in CCO... dun feel like i belong there. CCO still feels more like home.
i try to give a positive attitude towards work... Get posted to 3G instead of staying in CCO where I like so much... nvm, I tell myself that "down there got more things to do, more things to learn". Can't really accept other's attitude... nvm, "different ppl bound to hav different view and opinions, and that's wat makes the world interesting"... Call up to do last minute Guard Duty... it's ok, "it'll be a gd experience, juz like chatlet... stayin occasionally"....... who the hell am I trying to bluff. I'm not an optimist, and everytime something comes along, something that I dun like, I'll try to pretend that I look towards the bright side of things... But everytime there'll be some negative thoughts running thru my mind again and again.... I try to control my temper everytime I feel frustrated, so that I wouldn't go back home and vent my anger there... but I'm so mentally exhausted... To me, the cup of water is half-empty, not half filled... it never is and never will be. MAybe that's why I sucks at cheering ppl up, b'cos deep down i dun really believe that things will always turn out fine in the end...
shagged... really need to catch some real slp... have been drinking so much coffee that it no longer have any effect... i'm getting sick of it... But it's become such a habit that juz cannot seems to stop drinking... hai~
